


Illegal

by happyhannie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Almost dystopian but not quite, Focuses mostly on Minho, Happy Ending, Homophobia, I’m bad at tagging, M/M, Memory Loss, Minho and Felix are fake brothers, Minho is trying to find Jisung, Set in a made up country, deep, memory wiping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-21 20:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyhannie/pseuds/happyhannie
Summary: “It has been said that true love can trick the serum, if you really have true love, you will find each other again.”OrIn a country where being gay is punishable by having your memory wiped, Minho finds out that the only way to keep Jisung is to love him so much that the serum doesn’t work.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 61
Kudos: 211





	1. The Start of it All

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of the memory wiping was very loosely based off Teri Terry’s book series Slated which is literally the best thing I’ve ever read and I highly recommend it. Anyway, I’ve been writing this for so long I really hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also I don’t write a lot of angst very often so I don’t know if this contains bad topics or not but please even if you even think this may upset you in anyway don’t read it!! I’d never ever want anyone to feel hurt or upset by anything I’ve written!

Minho faced the wall in the hospital, it seemed like it was mocking him, calling him useless and reminding him that there was no way out. He knew that Jisung was next door, the boy’s yelling easily made its way past the soundproofing. However, the elder boy was zapped of all energy and was simply resigned to his fate, there was nothing that could be done. Even the pain from hearing Jisung’s protests and screams wasn’t enough for Minho to gain enough energy for one last fight.

All that Minho had ever known about the procedure were hushed stories that he had been told at school. The reality was much different. Most people told him that no one was scared and everyone simply accepted their fate yet this seemed like a joke. He was the only one in the entire building without the energy to fight.

It was when he first walked the corridors that everything sank in. People were yelling and crying out for their lovers but no one was responding. The place was ridden with fear but Minho was sure that most of that fear belonged to those who were attempting to stay strong.

He knew all about being the ‘strong’ one, perhaps the thing he knew most was that those perceived to be strong were usually the weakest. Jisung’s screams and protests echoing throughout his room reminded him of how weak he truly was. The younger was terrified and not only for himself but for Minho too and he was fighting, he was doing everything he could to keep their love alive. Minho wasn’t trying, there was nothing he could do.

The older supposed that his only fear was that he would never lay eyes upon Jisung again. Yes, the younger was goofy and dorky and a lot of his jokes weren’t as funny as Minho made them out to be but living without him wasn’t an option. The idea of never laying sight upon his big brown eyes again or never hearing his cute laugh caused Minho’s heart to clench in his chest. It felt like a death sentence. 

It seemed like an age passed before a doctor walked into Minho’s room, "Lee Minho, your procedure will take place in 20 minutes, before this you will have 3 minutes to say your goodbyes to,” he paused for a moment to read a piece of paper, “Mr Han Jisung,” he paused again, “after this you will be escorted directly to be injected with the serum" he spoke and Minho decided as soon as the doctor mentioned Jisung’s name that he hated him.

The man turned to leave before taking a look at Minho and smiling “I don’t tell this to many people but you can trick the serum, just love truly and find him again" the doctor spoke before nodding and walking out of the room.

Love truly? Minho thought on this. He was sure that his love for Jisung was true, he’d never felt anything quite as strong. Surely this was a sign? Would it be stupid of him to hope that he may see Jisung again?

\---------------

Minho remembered the day that they were taken as if it hadn’t happened 3 days ago. It felt like years had passed but at the same time it seemed like only minutes. Time was cruel. His days spent with Jisung flew by in seconds yet his days spent alone dragged out for decades. This day in particular he wished would never end. 

_  
"Hyung, I didn’t just ask you to come over because I wanted to watch movies and cook you some half burned disgusting food," Jisung spoke to Minho in a soft and nervous voice that instantly made the elder concerned, "I need you to know something,” he paused to gather his thoughts, “always remember that I love you, even if neither of us know this, even if we both find love again, I will never love someone as strongly as I love you now," the pure fear, determination and love wrapped around Jisung’s every word made tears spring into Minho’s eyes. They were terrified, both of them._

_"Sungie, I doubt they’ll come for us, we’re one couple out of so many others but just so you know, you’re everything to me and I promise you that you will be the only person that I will ever love" Minho told Jisung in return as he hugged him from behind and lay soft kisses on the nape of the younger’s neck. The tears began pouring out of both his and the younger’s eyes too quickly for either of them to try and hold them back._

_Jisung’s next words were like a bombshell, “hyung, I know that they’re coming for us.”_

_"What?" Minho had asked in a blind panic. His heart began racing as his breathing quickened and every good thing in his life began to come crashing down._

_"They’re on their way hyung, they’ll be here any second please listen to me," Jisung began. Panic sparked in his features as he attempted to hold it together but his tears just continued to rush down his face like a tidal wave_

_Before he could comfort the boy he loved so much Minho felt a hand on his arm and he was being pulled away from Jisung._

_“JISUNG!” he screamed in panic as he tried to shake off the officer’s hand from his arm. His head spun as it whipped around at lightning speed to catch any possible last glimpse at the love of his life._

_“Jisung,” Minho spoke with every ounce of calm that he had left, “Promise me you’ll never forget,” he told the boy he loved so much even though he knew that his promise would be baseless and impossible._

_“I promise hyung, I promise, please promise me too,” Jisung spoke through pained sobs and heavy breathing._

_“I promise and I’ve never broken a promise to you,” Minho choked out as he took one last look at Jisung being forced up from where he’d collapsed on to his knees. The younger offered a broken and teary smile and Minho savoured the picture as he was shoved into the van.  
_

\---------------

As he waited for the doctor to return, Minho tried to remember all of his favourite memories that he had shared with Jisung. He felt pathetic really, this wasn’t just every memory related to Jisung that he was going to lose, it was his family, his friends, his whole life. Of course, he wasn’t close to his parents but Jisung’s family had been so kind and accepting they had become like a true family that he was just waiting to find. Although, despite all this, it was undeniable that this process would be harder for Jisung. He’d lose the love and support he’d known his whole life and be thrown straight into a new family that he didn’t know at all. 

"Lee Minho, please follow me,” the doctor called and Minho stood with shaky legs and began to walk through the white corridors. It felt like an ending as he walked further into the white light but instead of heaven, he was heading to a loveless hell. The doctor stopped before a door. “Mr Han Jisung is in there already, please remember what I told you before.” Minho nodded and took a breath before pushing it open.

He’d never seen Jisung move as fast as he did in that moment. The younger’s arms flung around Minho’s waist and his head buried into his chest. Minho closed his arms around Jisung just as tightly and opened his mouth to speak, “Sungie did the doctor tell you about the true love thing?” he spoke attempting to stay calm and strong, if not for himself but for Jisung.

"No hyung, I’m so scared, I’m terrified please do something, I can’t do anything, I’m gonna lose you and I’m gonna lose mom and dad, I can’t do this hyung," Jisung spoke frantically as he sobbed into Minho’s hospital gown. It was a normal reaction, the eldest supposed. The situation was overwhelming and Jisung was weak-hearted at the best of times, it only made Minho feel more powerless and angry that he had failed at keeping him safe.

"Jisung you have to listen to me,” the older boy spoke soothingly as he rubbed circles on Jisung’s back in an attempt to get him to calm down, “the doctor told me that if I love you truly I will find you again," he finished. The room fell silent for a moment and Minho could tell that Jisung was taking a moment to think this through. 

“I love you hyung, truly, you’re everything to me.”

“Then we’ll be okay, we’ll find each other again, just think of every little detail when we go in okay, in my last second I’ll be thinking of you Jisungie,” Minho took a deep breath and tried to blink back his tears but failed as they began to stream down his face.

Jisung leaned up and brushed his lips against Minho’s softly and lovingly. It was like being in each other’s presence even for a moment could make them instantly calm down, Minho made Jisung feel safe and vice versa but that was all about to be taken away.

The doctor opened the door, “okay your 3 minutes is over,” he spoke before looking between the two boys, “if you could please follow me.”

Jisung latched his hand onto Minho’s and they held on tightly, staying together even until their final moment. They stopped before two separate doors.

"Lee Minho in 103 and Han Jisung in 104 please," the doctor told them.

"Hyung I love you, please remember me," Jisung spoke in shaky voice ridden with pure terror at the prospect of what was about to be.

"I promised you that I will never forget, I love you too" Minho spoke before looking into Jisung’s wide fear-stricken eyes one more time. This was the last sight he’d ever get of him, horror in his face, tear streaks lay on his cheeks but he was still the most beautiful person that Minho had ever seen. 

He looked away and headed into the room.

It looked like a horror movie. Everything was white other than the electric blue serum that sat in the syringe on the table next to him. As he lay down in the chair, the doctor seemed to waste no time in picking up the needle. Minho’s mind focused itself on every aspect of Jisung as he closed his eyes and awaited the impact.

Jisung’s eyes were like the stars, giant and sparkling, it seemed that his brightness would never die. Minho only hoped that this would remain after the procedure. His smile was so beautiful, the way he had a smile for every occasion but one that it seemed he reserved only for his time with Minho. He was the kindest person Minho had ever met, he went out of his way to make sure other people were happy and comfortable and only let himself be looked after once he knew that the people around him were okay. 

Minho didn’t care about what happened to himself but the fact that Jisung was panicked and upset seemed like the biggest injustice in the world.

He felt the needle on his skin and thought of Jisung’s face before the world turned to a cold black.


	2. A New Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It really didn’t work on you at all did it?”

"Hello Minho, I am here to inform you that tomorrow you will be sent away with your new family, this will consist of your new parents and your younger brother called Felix, he went through this procedure too so you won’t be alone" a doctor smiled kindly. Minho had been awake for two weeks at this point and everything about the rehabilitation centre seemed almost too perfect. Sure, he’d made new friends with the other patients and the doctors and learned to do new things like dance, he wondered whether he was a dancer before as it all felt so natural, yet he couldn’t shake that feeling that something wasn’t right.

He loved the energy of the centre but getting a new family felt like the icing on the cake. Despite the nagging feeling that something was wrong, Minho would describe his life as mostly happy. The doctors in the centre had changed his life which he was eternally grateful for. It had all been explained to him, how bad he had been acting before the procedure and how he could move on with his life now.

The doctor continued to explain things to him and he took the information willingly, "so Felix had the same procedure and he should be able to guide you through everything, we thought it would be good to put you with someone in the same circumstance as we believe you are a patient at high risk of relapsing into your old life, ways to prevent this are things like not believing the rumours that circulate about the treatment, you know why it happened so you don’t need to believe anything otherwise and finally never trust someone who says that they are telling you things about your old life," Minho nodded as he took in all of the information. He had already decided that rules simply weren’t for him, he didn’t understand why his entire body was telling him not to trust the doctors but he trusted his instinct more than people he didn’t know and who hadn’t been in his situation. 

He brushed off the feeling and smiled falsely at the doctor, “thank you.”

"Anything you need before I leave?" She asked him.

"Could you tell me my family name?” Minho asked out of curiosity.

"Your family name is Lee," she spoke, "anything else?"

Minho shook his head. 

"Okay, rest well Minho.”

"And you," He replied. 

After a few minutes, the boy already found himself deep in thought. He hated the feeling of nothingness in his mind that had become more prevalent throughout the day. The idea of not knowing what happened to him or who loved him in his old life and missed him now was horrifying. For the first time he could remember, Minho cried.

He cried over the thought of what he could’ve lost, he cried over the unknown, he cried over the nagging feeling that he had broken a promise. Before sleep took him over, a word came into his head, “squirrel,” he spoke out into the silence.

\---------------

The new morning brought new prospects and Minho felt excited when he awoke. Meeting the people that his new life was going to centre around was definitely exciting and out of all of them he was most happy about having Felix who he already felt like he would be able to relate to.

“Lee Minho,” the doctor poked her head around the door of his room just as he was pulling his last bag onto his shoulder. Every patient got to go ‘shopping’ in the centre’s clothes shop before their release and Minho had walked in with a ‘go big or go home’ mentality. It was, however, a bad move considering he now had to carry six large and heavy bags.

“Before we leave, to make sure everything had gone how it should have, I have to ask you is there anything that you have remembered? Any words that have to come to mind?” she asked him and Minho didn’t know why but his mind was screaming at him to say no. He listened to himself.

“No, nothing.”

“Let’s go and meet your new family then,” she smiled kindly before they began the short walk through the corridors of the centre. Minho felt slightly sad to see it go

“Hi hyung!” a happy looking young boy smiled as he came and sat next to him on the uncomfortable lobby chairs. “I’m Felix but I’m guessing they already told you that,” he looked around them before leaning closer to Minho and whispering, “I think they’ve put you with me because they think you’ll relapse, that’s a good thing by the way despite what they’ve told you, you can trust me with anything you have remembered,” the boy told him and if Minho wasn’t confused at the word squirrel before, he was definitely confused now.

“What do you mean? I haven’t remembered anything?” the older boy asked cooly and distrustingly but Felix’s smile didn’t falter once.

“Well never mind! Mom and dad aren’t around a lot because they’re on trips and stuff so don’t worry about having to pretend to be this perfect brain wiped kid,” Felix laughed but it definitely sounded bitter, “I’ll be glad of your company to say the least.”

Minho still didn’t trust what the boy was telling him but he saw no point in starting an argument at that point in time so he joked, “they sound great,” he replied sarcastically and Felix’s smile became impossibly wider. 

“Ah, you can take a joke, I think we’ll get along just fine,” the younger spoke before the sound of heels hitting the wooden floor echoed throughout the room.

“Are we all ready then?” Minho’s new dad asked before smiling at him as he nodded, “okay, let’s get you home and settled.”

As soon as Minho stepped out of the building, he felt as if every single one of his sense had been amplified. The air was clear and crisp and his lungs immediately felt rejuvenated. It was getting late so the sun was setting and it cast an orange haze onto the sky and Minho couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful sight to be greeted with. He had almost forgotten the feeling of being outside. Almost.

“It’s nice isn’t it?” Felix questioned him and Minho didn’t even realise that his awe had been obvious until the younger had spoke.

“It’s amazing.”

As Minho slipped into the back of his new dad’s car, he couldn’t help but take note of the song that was playing. He knew it was impossible that he had heard it before as the only music that they had played in the centre was classical. Minho found himself able to mouth along to some of the lyrics and he was immediately confused. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Panicked, he turned to Felix who simply looked at him with a knowing smile. ‘It’s okay’ he mouthed to Minho and the elder felt himself calm down ever so slightly.

As soon as the new family arrived to their house, Felix’s warning that their parents would never be at home became all the more evident. “Minho, I’m glad we could welcome you to the family but your dad and I have an important business dinner we have to attend, I’m sure Felix can show you around the house and even the area outside if he’s feeling nice enough,” Minho’s ‘mom’ explained and the boy simply smiled kindly even though he could feel a strong dislike for the woman building inside of him.

“It’s okay, thank you for welcoming me into your family,” he replied politely although every bone in his body seemed to be screaming at him not to.

His dad handed Felix some money before grabbing a bag and smiling fondly at the two boys. As soon as the door slammed behind their parents, Felix launched himself onto the couch and lay on his front staring towards where Minho was sat in an armchair.

“So hyung, what exactly have you remembered?” Felix smirked.

“How did you know?” Minho whined but he was barely shocked that Felix could tell that his ‘brain wiping’ hadn’t worked all that well.

“We’ve all been through it, I know at loads of other people who can remember little things but can’t piece them together. It’s natural I think although some people can remember more things than others,” Felix explained and Minho just nodded.

“Squirrel,” Minho blurted out but he was only met with a confused look from Felix, “that’s what I remember,” he elaborated. 

“I’ve bought you a present,” Felix began as he grabbed two notebooks off the coffee table and handed one to Minho, “that one’s yours, it’s great because it has a keypad on it so set a password and write everything you can remember in there, I have a few things like the fact that I used to live in Australia, it does help you to clear it all up in your mind though.”

“Cheesecake,” Minho spoke softly causing Felix to laugh.

“It really didn’t work on you did it?” the younger chuckled, “what about cheesecake?”

“I don’t know, I just remember something about cheesecake,” Minho hung his head in slight annoyance.

“Don’t try and think too much, you’ve only been out a day, take things slowly and they’ll come back to you,” Felix explained but he seemed impressed by the fact that Minho was remembering so many things so fast.

“You do know why you had your mind wiped right?” the younger asked and Minho felt as if this was the most important question he could ever remember being asked.

“The doctor said I was on the wrong path and they need to change my life.”

Silence echoed throughout the room. 

“That’s not true,” Felix spoke and Minho instantly forgot the doctor’s advice to not believe what anyone told him different. If Felix had been through the same experience surely he would be ill in his new life after remembering things and believing ‘rumours’ right? 

“What is it?” Minho asked with concern lacing his every word, “what happened to me?”

“The short version is that you must’ve been in love,” Felix spoke, “the long version is that they tore you away from your lover because he was a male.”

Minho’s eyes widened, “but they said at the centre that that’s illegal and wrong?” Minho spoke confusedly but all his head was screaming to him was the letter ‘J’. 

“Felix, why can I remember so many things so quickly? What do you mean it didn’t work?” Minho began to panic as his brain tried to cope with all of the information.

“They say that those who remember the most had the truest love, that’s why people have found each other again and ran away,” Felix looked almost wistful as he spoke of this. 

“So if I truly loved him, whoever he is, I will find him again?” 

“Yes if he truly loved you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i’m going to be posting a new chapter everyday until this is finished!!


	3. Unite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well I’m Chan and I work for an underground charity called unite, we run a secret database which tries to help ex lovers who were forced apart reunite”

Minho awoke sharply on a Saturday morning a few days after he had been released to Felix shaking him. “Hyung! Wake up! There’s someone I want you to meet and he’ll be here in like 15 minutes.”

“Ah! Give me a warning Felix! It takes me at least half an hour to wake up,” Minho complained as he pushed back his sheets.

“Stop being dramatic and hurry up.”

That was the reason why Minho found himself, or a zombie version of himself, sat on the sofa in the lounge at the grand time of 9AM. Felix was bouncing his knee in either nervousness or excitement (Minho was too tired to decipher which) as he stared out of the window looking for whoever he wanted Minho to meet. 

When a car finally pulled up, Felix’s eyes lit up and he ran to open the front door, “Channie hyung!” he spoke excitedly and Minho couldn’t help but feel his heart warm at seeing Felix so happy. He stood up as ‘Channie hyung’ stepped into the room and they greeted each other with a warm smile. 

“Hi, I’m Chan! Felix has told me about you but I don’t know if he’s told you about me,” Chan joked and the blank look on Minho’s face probably told the story well enough. 

“No I didn’t,” Felix spoke and Chan rolled his eyes teasingly. 

“Well I’m Chan and I work for an underground charity called unite, we run a secret database which tries to help ex lovers who were forced apart reunite,” Chan explained and immediately Minho was much more interested in the boy, “I’m not going to force you into doing this but would you like to be added to the database because I’m pretty sure that’s why Felix invited me here today.”

Minho pondered for a moment over what he had to lose but the thoughts were quickly overrun with the truth. He had already lost everything, why shouldn’t he try to reclaim a little part of what would’ve once probably made him so happy? “I’ll do it,” he spoke determinedly. 

Chan smiled, “great! So i’m going to need your details and what you can remember.”

They set about making Minho’s profile with the limited information they boy knew about his own life, “Lee Minho, probably admitted around a month ago, released from the National Memory Rehabilitation Centre 5 days ago,” Chan read back to Minho who nodded along to the few facts he knew about himself.

“Okay so what you can remember is probably the most important part, we hope that you will remember things that will match up with your lover because it often happens that people’s memories will be similar,” Chan explained and Minho felt hope surge through him when the older boy spoke these words.

“Wait so people have found each other before?” He asked.

“Of course, our success rate is still low at around 11.5% but if you think that there are almost 3 quarters of a million people on the database, a lot of couples have found each other again, I know I definitely have,” Chan smiled proudly.

“You found your lover again and still stayed here?” Minho asked as if even the idea of such a thing was absurd.

“We both worked for unite, so it was only natural that we both wanted to stay here and see if we could help people be as happy as us, I don’t recommend it though, if you find him you should leave as soon as possible, Woojin and I decided that we will leave when I turn 30 and live the rest of our lives openly,” Chan explained, “anyway what can you remember?”

“I remember the word squirrel but I don’t know if that counts as a memory or just something that came into my head,” Minho explained and Chan typed quickly on his computer before lifting up his head.

“Random words that come into your head are sometimes the most important things, they show things that are important enough to break through the barriers,” the eldest spoke and Minho smiled again. Every word that came from Chan’s mouth seemed to give him a rush of hope and a feeling that he felt as if he had never experienced before, the excitement of perhaps being able to reunite with someone he lost who was so important to him felt so exhilarating and he just wanted to do everything in his power to find his lover again.

“There was a song I knew,” He told Chan and the older’s head lifted slightly at the statement.

“That’s rare, do you know what it was called?” Chan asked and Minho simply shook his head as he tried to rack his brain for the title. It wasn’t there.

“It was easily by Bruno Major,” Felix supplied the answer and Chan noted it down with a soft smile.

“And I remember that cheesecake is important and the letter J,” Minho rambled on as Chan’s face became gradually more surprised with each item that he listed off. 

“How long have you been awake?” Chan asked.

“I was awake for two weeks before they let me out so maybe almost three weeks?” Minho replied helpfully and Chan shared a look with Felix.

“Minho you can remember so many things in such a short space of time, this is so so rare,” the oldest spoke, “I’ve put your details in and there’s currently 348 possible matches but don’t be disheartened honestly, at the rate you’re remembering things, that could be down to about 75 in within the next week.”

“Seriously?” Minho asked in near disbelief.

“Yeah, you and Felix make quite the pair, in fact Felix your matches have gone down to 10 today,” Chan smiled and Felix’s eyes lit up slightly.

“Really?” He asked with excitement laced into his voice and Minho felt so happy for the younger boy.

“Minho the only flaw in this system is that your lover may not have signed up, the current rate is 73.6% so it stands a chance that they have or if not they will very soon,” Chan smiled kindly.

“Thank you both of you, this means a lot and now that I know the truth and that there is someone out there who I loved and who loved me I feel a lot happier, thank you,” Minho spoke.

“Any time,” Felix grinned.

“Yes, any time you remember anything write it down in the notebook that Felix bought you and I visit Felix every week so I’ll check back with you and update your profile then,” Chan checked his watch as he stood up from the sofa, “anyway it was nice meeting you Minho and good seeing you Felix but I have to go, see you next week!” Chan waved goodbye and Minho watched as he walked out of the door but left the promise of a love that Minho could regain.

As Felix walked back into the room, he smiled and sat down on the chair across from Minho, “Chan hyung is also from Australia,” he explained, “it appears that the government here doesn’t care where you are from, if you are dating someone of the same gender who is from this country then you are in danger,” he spoke sadly, “I think the worst part for me was that the memory wipe messed with my Korean skills a bit so I woke up a little less than fluent and I was so confused.”

“If it’s not a bad thing to ask,” Minho began, “how long have you been out and how much can you remember?” 

“I’ve been out around a month now, so not that long at all really and as for what I can remember, I met Chan hyung because I felt like something was up and saw a sign about a support group for people who had had their memory wiped, turns out it was a unite session so I walked straight into a place where everything suddenly made sense, Chan hyung gave me the notebook and on the first night I sat in my room and filled a quarter of it.” Felix explained and Minho looked on with wide eyes.

“I’m lucky to have you as my younger fake brother Felix.”

“I’m lucky to have you as my older fake brother hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading this chapter!! i really hope you enjoyed it!!


	4. September 14th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is a boy out there who loved me,” Minho spoke and Felix’s expression turned to one of pity and understanding, “and he might never know that I’m even looking for him and I don’t even know who he is.”

It was Wednesday when Minho met Felix’s best friend Hyunjin. It was the first time that Minho felt normal again although he had no real memory of what normal was, they went together to collect their monthly allowance. The law stated that those who had had their memory wiped were not fit to work until they had been out of the rehabilitation centre for 6 months and Minho was sure that he would go stir crazy in that time.

“What am I even supposed to use this for?” Minho complained.

“I use half of it for myself and save half of it for flights just in case,” Hyunjin explained.

“I use mine to keep my hair blonde,” Felix joked and Hyunjin just rolled his eyes.

“What he meant to say is that every Wednesday we go out for ice cream and that he spends a lot of his money on getting some wild sundae every week,” Hyunjin commented and Minho just laughed in response.

“Hey sundaes are really good though,’ Felix frowned and pouted jokingly to which Hyunjin simply pushed him making the youngest stumble forward, “if you injure me I’ll sue you for your entire allowance,” he warned.

“You wouldn’t dare, you forget that I was a law student but to be honest I also forgot that I was a law student,” Hyunjin pointed out and Felix fell into a fit of giggles. Minho felt that he didn’t quite know how to respond to Hyunjin’s joke because on one hand he found it completely hilarious but he didn’t know whether having his mind wiped was a taboo subject that shouldn’t really be joked about.

Sensing this, Hyunjin turned to the oldest, “sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that joke, I think most people just think that the best way to deal with things is to make fun of them,” he smiled sweetly and Minho just shook his head.

“No, no, I found it funny I just didn’t know whether I was supposed to find it funny or not,’ he explained and Hyunjin nodded in understanding.

“Oh I get that but don’t worry, you should always feel free to laugh at my expense, Felix does it enough and besides, you’re kind of stuck with us now,” he smiled. 

They walked in a comfortable silence then, Minho followed them down streets that he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to recognise or not. It all felt so unfamiliar and Minho started to wonder whether he had ever even been here in his old life. When they finally reached the ice cream shop, they slid into a booth and Minho looked at the menu, the serum worked in strange ways and was only supposed to remove memories and not life skills but one of the side effects was forgetting flavours of foods so when the waitress came to order, Minho found himself looking to Felix and Hyunjin for help.

“Oh, he’ll have the Sunday strawberry sundae,” Felix smiled and Minho flashed him an appreciative smile missing the way the waitress rolled her eyes. Apparently though, Felix and Hyunjin saw it.

“I hate people who think they’re better than us because of this,” Hyunjin started taking exasperatedly, “they act like I asked to have my memories wiped and my entire life taken away from me,” he ranted and Minho furrowed his brow slightly.

“Do people think it’s a bad thing?” He asked.

“There aren’t many people outside of the LGBT community who know the truth and those who aren’t LGBT but do know the truth, and even those who are, are way too afraid to ever say anything in case they’re taken too, the laws in this country are literally just enforced by making the population feel terrified,” Felix explained, “a lot of people just see us as low lives who’s memories were wiped because we were delinquents or whatever and needed a fresh start.”

“That’s horrible,” Minho let out his opinion, “you can’t even protest or anything because then they’ll know who you are and then not enough people know the truth for there to be public outcry about it and I’m guessing that probably not enough people care,” he said dejectedly and Felix and Hyunjin just nodded in agreement.

A new waiter brought their ice cream just afterwards and Minho was excited to find out that vanilla ice cream and strawberries actually tasted really nice. He quickly ate his food and Felix and Hyunjin watched his fondly as they remembered their own experience of re-experiencing ice cream for the first time. Although he was older, Minho could tell that Felix felt as he if needed to guide and protect Minho and the older boy was most definitely thankful that he had someone like Felix around who had been in the same position and felt the same emotions. 

After leaving the ice cream parlour, Felix and Minho bid goodbye to Hyunjin who caught the bus home and they headed back on the short walk to their house. They walked in comfortable silence and Minho took in everything he could about his surroundings, the blue of the sky, the faded brown of the tree leaves that fell and crunches under his feet. “Felix, what’s the date?” Minho asked.

“September 14th why?” He spoke and Minho’s heart immediately began to race.

“Why do I feel like I’m missing something?” Minho was officially confused. As soon as Felix had spoken, his head had felt like it was warning him of something important that he felt like he was missing or leaving behind. 

“Maybe you are,” Felix commented and Minho racked all of his brain for anything that could link but he found nothing. It was now that it all began to hit him, the fact that he had been ripped from someone who loved him and the fact that they had had his love ripped from them. What if he never found him? What if the boy who Minho loved was blissfully unaware of what had truly happened and MInho would be left to suffer until his dying breath. Chan had said that Unite’s success rate was very low and Minho couldn’t help but feel his heart sink. 

Upon seeing how his demeanour had changed, Felix raced to his side and they sat down together on a patch of grass on the side of the road. “Hyung, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Minho took a deep breath before he attempted to reply, “there,’ he breathed again, “there is a boy out there who loved me,” he spoke and Felix’s expression turned to one of pity and understanding, “and he might never know that I’m even looking for him and I don’t even know who he is, I can’t remember anything about him but I love him or maybe the idea of him, I don’t even know, I’ve been pulled away from everything, I probably had a family that loved me as well and who miss me and miss him and I can’t deal with it Felix I can’t,” Minho spoke without breathing as sobs began to erupt from his throat and he couldn’t breathe. Every word of panic was stuck in his throat and he wheezed as he tried to push them out but they stuck there like a pest that was intent on ruining him. 

“Hyung listen to me, you’ve remembered so much, Chan hyung spoke to me about how rare it is to remember so many things or anything at all at this stage, he once told me that as long as you loved this boy truly then you are destined to find him and the stronger the love the more and faster you remember apparently so your odds are looking really good hyung, we’ll find them don’t worry,” the younger spoke.

“You’re so young Felix and you’ve already been through so much, I hope you find him, you really deserve all of the happiness in the world,” Minho spoke honestly. Felix smiled a now watery smile and he pulled Minho into a hug.

“I hope you find him too hyung, you’re the best person I could’ve wished to have as my brother,” he said and Minho smiled upon noticing the lack of the word fake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading this!! i really hope you’re enjoying it so far if even one person is enjoying it then that’s makes me so so so so happy :))))))


	5. More Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have no doubts that you’ll find your lover Minho, you have to trust yourself,” Chan smiled kindly.

Saturday rolled around again before Minho knew it and his and Felix’s fake parents left the house at an unreasonable hour to head to work leaving Minho to wonder whether they were fit to be parents at all. He voiced these concerns to Felix who simply replied with, “you think the doctors care about us? They’ll send us off with anyone as long as they get rid of us and our parents? They only want us for the money they get.” Minho was inclined to agree.

Whilst waiting for Chan, Minho and Felix played Mario Kart together and if there was one thing that was becoming increasingly clear about Minho’s old life, it was that he played a hell of a lot of Mario Kart. 

“How are you so good if you don’t even remember playing it?” Felix complained, “you’re not supposed to be good.”

“Sorry what was that you said? I couldn’t really hear you over my victory music,” Minho joked, “but seriously it just felt so natural maybe in my old life I just sat all day everyday and played Mario Kart,” he joked.

“Sounds plausible,” Felix replied and at that point they heard a knock on the door. Felix ran to open it and there stood Chan with his trusty laptop and notebook.

“Good morning Felix,” Minho heard him speak from in the hallway, “and good morning Minho,” he spoke again as he entered the lounge.

“Good morning hyung, is it possible to add really unnaturally good at Mario Kart to my profile?” Minho asked straight away causing Chan to smile revealing his dimples.

“Every little bit of information helps I suppose,” the oldest laughed at he logged onto his laptop and took a seat on the sofa.

“I’ll start with you Felix have you thought of anything else?” Chan asked and Felix opened to a page in his notebook where he had drawn a sketch (Minho wasn’t sure if he could really call it that) it was simple enough just a ‘V’ shape with a smiley face drawn inside it but Chan’s brow seemed to furrow as he wrote it onto the website.

“There’s something else as well and I think it might be big but I don’t know if it relates to me, a friend or him,” Felix told Chan who nodded.

“Well tell me anyway and we’ll write it on and figure it out later,” Chan looked up from his laptop to meet Felix’s nervous gaze. Minho knew how the younger felt and he was sure that Chan would too, any slight possibility of any information meaning anything and there was an incessant need to cling on to it. It was a feeling that Minho had a love-hate relationship with.

“I remember the year 1999,” Felix said and quickly backtracked, “not that I remember being there because I’m pretty sure I was born in 2000 but I mean that I remember it has some kind of significance,” he said and Chan noted it down.

“That sounds like it could be important though,” Chan said, “it’s usually things like that that kickstart bigger things, it also narrows your search again to 8,” he spoke and Minho saw a glint enter Felix’s eyes.

“Minho your turn, what have you thought of this week?”

“Only two things,” Minho said as he hung his head slightly, “I think I keep trying to think of things and it’s stopping them coming through naturally,” he admitted. Chan typed before a second before lifting his head and thinking on Minho’s words for a moment.

“A lot of people get like that, they try so hard to think of things that it stops the natural thoughts coming through, I know it sounds hard and it is hard, we’ve all been there but the more you push the past to the back of your mind and attempt to live this life for a while, the more you’ll remember,” Chan advised and Minho soaked in every piece of advice he was offered. If there was any way he could get even one person closer to finding the boy he loved then Minho would do whatever it took. 

“Okay, your matches went down to 305 during the week anyway so you’re already closer, maybe the things that you’ve remembered today can filter it a bit more,” he spoke as he typed some more on his laptop and Minho opened up his notebook to give the information.

“The first is rapping, I don’t know what it is but every time I hear a really emotional sounding rapper it strikes something in me as if there is a rapper I should be listening to who I’m not if that makes any sense at all, I don’t know if that’s significant or if it’s just me trying to find the type of music that I used to like,” Minho spoke and Chan put this into his profile, “the second is a bit more solid, I was walking with Felix and I asked for the date, he told me it was 14th September and my heart just began racing, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing something that was really important to me or like I should have been celebrating something,” Minho explained and Chan looked vaguely pleased with his answer. 

“That’s really promising Minho, usually a date is something like a birthday or an anniversary of someone who was close to you, our hardest job here is to figure out whether the date relates to your lover or to a close family member,” Chan said and Minho nodded. He got some kind of hope from Chan’s visits. Maybe it was just the feeling of being around one of Unite’s success stories or the fact that there was someone there who was trying to help, regardless Minho felt comforted by his presence.

“Okay Minho that narrows your matches to 206 which looks really good at this stage considering you’ve only remembered a few things, Felix if your number goes to 5 or below we’ll be in touch about memory drawing,” Chan smiled, “any other questions or anything before I go?”

Minho was completely baffled. “What’s memory drawing?” He asked with confusion in his tone.

“It’s a technique we’re trialling, it definitely works for some people and for others not so much, we show you situations that relate to memories of your possible matches and record how your brain reacts to it, I don’t know the ins and outs because it’s very scientific and not my kind of thing but we recommend it to everyone who has five matches or below because people who do it have a higher chance of finding their lover,” Chan said professionally and Minho knew he was being annoying at this point but he had so many questions.

“And how do people know that the person they find is definitely their lover?” He questioned and Chan smiled as if he had answered the question a million times over, which Minho assumed he most probably had.

“We don’t tell you their name,” the oldest of the three spoke simply, “it’s a flaw in the serum I guess that when you meet the person if you knew them then you will know their name and you’ll remember a few small things from your life together, usually a big occasion like an anniversary or you getting together,” he paused for a second and began talking again before Minho could even open his mouth to ask the next question, “I know what you’re going to ask and if you’re wondering why we don’t just show you pictures of all your possible matches that’s because we can’t store pictures because it’s too risky and we can’t just have you meet everyone because that’s risky too,” Chan slowed down, “safety is so much more important than waiting a few extra weeks because you’d then have to go through the trauma and process all over again.”

“Oh,” Minho spoke, “I suppose that’s fair enough,” he smiled and Chan nodded kindly before switching off his laptop and putting it in his bag. 

“We’re having a session again tomorrow at the ‘Peach Sign’ club, Felix it’s where we had it before, you’re both welcome to come if you want to, we’re going to try out some new methods to try and draw some memories out of you,” Chan grinned and Felix returned the look.

“We’ll be there hyung, thank you for coming,” Felix spoke and then beamed up at Chan. Minho felt the admiration that his ‘brother’ had for the older Australian but he supposed it must have been so hard for Felix not understanding much Korean and being pushed into a scary world alone. He could only imagine how Felix felt when he found Chan.

“Malaysia,” Minho interrupted their conversation and his own thought process suddenly, “there’s something to do with Malaysia.” He felt himself getting frustrated at this point. Why couldn’t he remember?

“Hey, Minho look at me,” Chan sat the boy down and spoke directly to him, “you’re doing great, I was telling Felix just the other day that my manager came and spoke to me about you, it’s very rare that we have someone who remembers so much as fast as you, the last person who remembered at the rate you have been found their match within a month and you’ve already been out for a week, I have no doubts that you’ll find your lover Minho, you have to trust yourself,” Chan smiled kindly and Minho nodded and sniffed as he tried to hold back the tears. 

He had lost count, at this point, of the amount of times he had cried himself to sleep over the thought of the fact that there was someone out there who might be searching for him as much as he was searching for them however there was one thing about whoever this person was that stuck in Minho’s mind. Both of them had risked everything to be with each other and the thought that it had ended this way hurt. Minho could not let it end how it had.

“Thank you hyung, honestly I’m so happy people like you are supporting us,” he smiled softly and Chan patted his shoulder lightly.

“No problem Minho, I have to go now but I’ll see you at the session tomorrow, I’m looking forward to it,” Chan nodded.

“Bye hyung!” Felix called out as he walked Chan to the door and shut it behind him. The house fell quiet as the youngest walked back into the lounge and took a seat next to Minho.

“We’ll find them,” Felix spoke, “I know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i really hope you’re enjoying this! i’m really not as satisfied as i would like to be with this fic but i still wanted to post it, i hope it’s okay :<


	6. The Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It makes me almost happy and comforted to think that there’s that many people who want to help us.”

The two boys awoke the next day to a sharp knock on the door, Felix raced down the stairs in the hopes that it would be Chan with good news but instead he was faced with two doctors and he immediately realised why they were there. “We’re here for Minho?” they asked, “it’s time for his one week check up.”

“Hyung!” Felix called but there was no answer, “I’m sure he’s just sleeping, come in and I’ll go and get him.”

The youngest ran upstairs as the doctors took a seat in the lounge and he shook Minho awake, “hyung, hyung.”

“What is it Lix, it’s like 8am?” Minho asked groggily.

“The doctors are here for your first week check up,” and Minho woke up fully after hearing this. 

“What? Lix what do I do? What if they know?” Minho began to panic and he pushed back his covers and ran his hand through his hair.

“Look here, hyung they’re just doctors not mind readers don’t worry, you’ll be fine, I got through it alone we’ll enough just tell them what they want to hear,” Felix calmed the older boy slightly and he got changed before making his way downstairs. Felix was still at his side for moral support.

“Hi!” Minho’s entire demeanour changed as he greeted the doctors with a falsely happy smile.

“Hi Minho,” one spoke, “how are you finding life outside of the centre?” she asked.

“It’s great! I enjoyed being in the centre a lot but I really like all of the things I’ve experienced in the outside world,” every word that came from the boys mouth was calculated and careful and the doctors seemed to be impressed.

“Ah what new experiences have you had?” the other doctor asked.

“I have met with one of Felix’s friends and he was very kind, I tasted ice cream for the first time and that was very nice also, I am enjoying it a lot.”

“Do you have your eye on anyone yet?” Minho felt his blood boil.

“How do you mean?” He asked with a false sweetness.

“Do you have any romantic interest in anyone?”

Suddenly, Minho remembered the fact that he was a very good liar, “yes in fact, there is a very pretty girl I saw in the ice cream shop, she had blonde hair and tanned skin she was beautiful,” he spoke pouring in every bit of fake emotion and wistfulness he could possibly muster and the doctors ate up his lies like lions.

“We’re very happy for you Minho, that is all, from now on you won’t be hearing from us again if you could please just sign these forms?” they asked and Minho pretended to read their conditions knowing he would just break them anyway before he signed the sheet and handed it back to them.

“Thank you for your time Minho, good luck on the rest of your life and with your girl,” they nodded before leaving the room and the house. Felix immediately held his finger up to his lips and rushed to the fireplace picking up a small black dot and crushing it.

“What?” Minho asked with confusion in his voice.

“I noticed it when they came for mine, they leave a monitor here and it sends a feed back to their computers which registers anytime you say a banned word or speak of anything about your soulmate,” the Australian told him.

“They’re pieces of shit and I hate every last one of them,” Minho spoke in anger as he flopped back down on to the sofa.

“Don’t we all,” Felix agreed and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Felix stood up, “anyway Hyunjin will be here soon to go to the session but we’ve still got about an hour, wanna play Mario Kart?” he asked and who was Minho to turn down such an offer?

An hour later the doorbell rang just as Felix had fell off the track of rainbow road for about the seventh time, they paused the game and Felix answered the door and then returned with Hyunjin in tow.

“Mario Kart?” Hyunjin asked, “how could you play that without me?” he pouted and flopped onto the sofa.

“Hey it’s not our fault we were woke up by the doctors at like 8am,” Felix whined.

“Shit,” Hyunjin sat up straight, “why what happened?”

“It’s nothing serious just Minho’s check up,” Felix explained.

“Ah I remember when I had that, I was so scared but it turned out okay,” Hyunjin laughed, “they asked me if I had my eye on any girls and you know how the best way to tell that people are lying is because they offer a lot of detail?” he giggled, “well yeah I went all out talking about the sparkles in her eyes and basically throwing up stuff I’d heard this main character in a drama say but they looked quite impressed and told me I should go into poetry,” he trailed off, “hey you got rid of the monitoring device right?”

“Yeah don’t worry I crushed it and threw it out as soon as they left,” Felix reassured the boy but Minho was curious about Hyunjin.

“Hey Hyunjin, if you don’t mind me asking how long have you been out?”

“It’s okay! I was in the centre at the same time as Lix so I’ve been out for about a month as well,” Hyunjin explained, “I met him again at the unite session.”

“Yeah Jinnie remembered almost as much as me,” Felix told his ‘brother’ but he seemed a bit reluctant to talk about Hyunjin’s memories.

“Yeah but my memories don’t all add up, Chan hyung says it’s almost as if I’m remembering two separate people,” he hung his head slightly, “but it’s okay, I have faith in Chan hyung and unite, whatever will be will be.”

They played Mario Kart for a while longer before it was time to head out for the session. The eldest followed the two boys like a lost puppy through the winding streets of the neighbourhood before they arrived at the ‘Peach Sign’ club as Chan had called it. Minho only really understood where it had acquired its name when they walked inside. It was simply one big room that was covered wall to wall with peach coloured wallpaper, it was obviously run down and somewhere that no one would ever dream of entering should they not know what it was but as soon as Felix opened a flap on the floor and started walking down the stairs it suddenly began to seem much more like the mass operation it truly was.

Two of the walls of the first room were completely invisible behind the mass of wires, cables and screens, the buzz of electricity was so loud that Minho winced when he reached the bottom step, the two other sides of the room shared the same peach colour but were covered with letters sent to the agency by those who had obviously escaped. Felix walked to the centre of the room and opened a second flap in the floor and began walking down another set of stairs. At this point, Minho was in disbelief, “how many rooms are there?” he asked to which Felix giggled cutely.

“I thought that the first time I came here, I could hardly believe that a place like this actually existed and there’s over a hundred of them you know across the country,” he spoke proudly as if he himself was the creator of unite, “it makes me almost happy and comforted to think that there’s that many people who want to help us,” he grinned and Hyunjin nodded in agreement.

When they reached the bottom of the staircase and headed through another door, Minho was immediately hit by the sound of chatter coming from many directions. “Lix, Min, Jinnie! I’m glad you could make it!” Chan welcomed them and they all waved before sitting down next to a young looking girl towards the middle of the room, she smiled kindly at them and they returned it before Chan walked to the front and began to speak.

“Hi, I’m Chan but all of you already knew that, I’m glad you could come here today and I assume you all brought your diaries?” he asked and the crowd of about 15 people nodded, “good so we’re gonna try some new exercises to try and bring you memories out, if anything at all pops into your mind just write it into your diary and I’ll come around at the end and add it all into the database.”

The group each opened up their diaries and then looked towards Chan who began talking through the first exercise, “okay so what I want you to do is to think of a field and then think of some trees in your field,” Chan paused for a second. Minho’s field stretched for miles and there was a small cluster of trees on the left, it was surrounded by a brown fence and there was a few animals milling around in the next field, “now imagine a bench and on the back of that bench there’s a small plaque and there’s an inscription on there, what does it say?” 

The entire room began writing in their diaries at this point and Chan smiled, “I’m glad it’s working,” he chuckled. Minho wasn’t so sure, he stared at the simple letter he had written on the page in front of him ‘H’. It could mean anything he supposed but he couldn’t get it out of his head even when Chan led them through the next few exercises and all that came into his head was the year 1998, he didn’t know whether that was the year he was born but he assumed it might have been considering he at least knew he was older than Felix who assumed he was born in 2000.

The exercises ended almost as quickly as they started and Chan started walking around typing things into his computer, Hyunjin was excitedly rambling to Felix about how he had remembered two years (2000 and 2001), the letter S, the colour pink and a fox but Minho couldn’t help but just dejectedly stare at his practically empty page.

“Hey Minho, have you got anything for me to write in?” Chan asked and Minho forced a smile for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

“Not much,” he laughed almost bitterly.

“Anything is better than nothing,” Chan countered with a warm smile.

“Okay,” Minho spoke softly feeling a little better after Chan’s reassurance, “I remembered the year 1998 and the letter H,” he told the older boy.

“Minho that’s great! Really! Those are things that we only expect people who have been out for at least a month or two to remember, don’t be disheartened Min you’re doing great, your matches are down to 132 already,” Minho smiled properly this time, it seemed that only the thought of finding his lover again could make him feel that happy.

“Felix,” Chan called after his conversation with Minho, “I have some great news, your matches are down to 5, do you want to try memory drawing in a few days?” Chan asked and Felix’s eyes lit up as if he had just received the best news of his life, which in fact he probably had.

“Yes! Yes of course oh my God Chan hyung! I’m so happy, you have no idea how happy I am!” he exclaimed and turned around to tap Hyunjin on the shoulder and pull his attention away from the girl he was speaking to, “Jinnie! Jinnie! I’m down to 5 I’m doing memory drawing!”

Hyunjin’s eyes grew wide and lit up almost as much as Felix’s had, “Oh my God Lix I’m so happy for you!” he pulled the younger Australian into a hug as they smiled at each other. 

“Okay so our next slot is in five days at 4pm, what I’ll do is I’ll come and visit you in two days to see if you remember anything else and if anything has changed, yeah?” Chan asked and Felix nodded delightedly.

“Thank you hyung,” Felix spoke with tears shining in his eyes and Minho felt his heart simultaneously burst and break. Felix looked so happy and Minho was, of course, so so happy for his brother but he still felt that nagging in his chest wishing that he too was in Felix’s situation. 

Seeming to sense what the older boy was thinking, Felix turned around and pulled Minho in for a tight hug. “Don’t worry hyung we’ll find your boy soon,” Felix spoke.

Minho’s believed him for a second but his heart dropped again when he heard Chan tell Hyunjin that he only had 9 possible matches left. Felix looked at his face again and sighed, “hyung you know I won’t leave this country until you two can leave it with me right?” Felix asked and Minho immediately snapped around to face Felix with widened eyes.

“Are you crazy?” he asked, “Lix you should never ever put my safety and happiness before yours.”

“Hyung do you think I would be happy knowing that I’m living somewhere safely and you’re stuck here still trying to find your lover?” Felix asked him seriously.

Minho thought on it for a few seconds before hanging his head in defeat and whispering, “no.”

“Exactly, either you come with me or I’m not going at all,” Felix spoke firmly.

“I love you Lix, I’m claiming you as my real little brother,” Minho pulled the younger into a tight hug.

“I love you too hyung, you’re a real brother to me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i’m really really thankful that anyone is reading this thank you so much!!


	7. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Chan hyung has had to leave the country.”

The day had come for Chan’s visit to Felix and over the last two days, Minho has completely filled two pages of his diary. It seemed that when he forgot about his situation and just moved on with ‘normal’ life, information seemed to come to him more readily. 

The doorbell went and Minho opened it to reveal a boy who certainly wasn’t Chan. Felix wasn’t downstairs yet so Minho panicked slightly and the boy just smiled sadly, “hi don’t worry I’m from unite but I think we all need to have a talk.”

Minho’s heart dropped into his stomach as they walked into the lounge. He and the boy sat down and the boy began talking straight away, “Chan hyung has had to leave the country.”

“What? What no, no, what do you mean? Surely not?” Minho began to panic and he heard a crash upstairs which only suggested that Felix had heard the boy’s words too. The younger boy came rushing down the stairs at an unbelievable pace but he seemed to falter and his expression changed as soon as he locked eyes with the boy from unite. 

“I-“ Felix spoke and Minho confusedly looked between Felix and the boy to see that the boy had the same wide eyed expression. 

“Ch, Changbin hyung?” Felix asked quietly and he stared at the boy in front of him who reacted almost immediately.

“Felix? Oh my god, Felix?” they rushed towards each other and Minho still hadn’t quite figured out what was happening until both boys embraced and began to cry. 

“Changbin hyung, I- I- I love you,” Felix blurted out from beneath his sobs and they both hugged tightly but kept pulling back and staring at the others face simply to make sure that what they were seeing was real. 

“I remember our anniversary,” Changbin began struggling to fight his words through his cries, “a- and,” he coughed a bit, “you fell into the fountain at the restaurant and we got kicked out,” he cried and Felix giggled through his tears. 

“And you had an argument with the manager because you’d paid for some drinks and we never got them,” Felix finished off the story and Minho felt such warmth in his heart at watching the situation between the two unfold that tears began to spring into his eyes as well.

It was almost as if they had forgotten that anything else in the world existed and Minho could hardly blame them. The lengths that they had gone to to be together in the first place, the lengths they had gone to to find each other and what it meant now that they had was enormous. 

Minho couldn’t be prouder.

When he zoned back in from his teary daze he noticed the two boys staring at him, “what?” he asked them causing them both to giggle uncontrollably.

“Why are you crying?” Felix laughed and Minho began to giggle too.

“It’s emotional and I’m just so happy for you, both of you,” he smiled and Felix rushed over to give him a hug.

“Binnie hyung! This is Minho hyung he’s my not real real brother,” Felix introduced Minho and the two other boys stood up immediately and greeted each other.

“I take it you’re not leaving without him?” Changbin asked with a bright smile on his face. 

“Never.” Felix spoke firmly.

“Well, we better get to getting his memories on the database,” Changbin grinned as he took out his laptop and Felix’s smile faltered for a second as he recalled the reason why Changbin was here in the first place.

“Binnie hyung, what happened to Chan hyung?” Felix asked and Changbin looked saddened by the question. 

“Sit down and I’ll explain it to you,” Changbin spoke and the two boys did as he asked.

“It was last night and everyone was just sleeping, Chan hyung was cuddling with Woojin hyung watching some film and then he got a message from the boss of Unite telling him to leave the country there and then, turns out one of the new memory wiped kids had told the doctors about him or something accidentally, you know what Chan’s like he didn’t blame the kid but the kid was supposed to be taken to have his memory wiped again and the police were gonna come for Chan and Woojin the next morning so they all had to leave last night,” tears of sadness collected in Felix’s eyes upon hearing this and Changbin looked as if his hurt had doubled upon seeing the younger upset, “he’s gone off to Australia you know?” Changbin brushed a tear on Felix’s cheek away with his finger, “I’m sure they’ll be really happy there, we’ll see him again Lix when we go, all of us will,” he spoke determinedly. 

“Thank you hyung,” Felix spoke and rested his head on Changbin’s shoulder while the boy pulled out his laptop and Minho pulled out his diary. 

“Minho hyung, your matches went down to 93 over the last couple of days already? Woah, you’ve only been out for 2 weeks?” Changbin asked with his eyes wide in pure surprise, “that’s amazing??” he told Minho who smiled grateful for the positivity.

“Okay what have you remembered this week?” 

“Well,” Minho spoke as he opened up his notebook, “the year 2000 stuck out and I saw a TV show where the main character’s family name was Han and I don’t know but I couldn’t stop thinking about this character and their family name so maybe that’s something and I remembered the animal quokka even though I can’t remember what that is and I remembered the colour red and-“ Minho was cut off by Changbin.

“Okay hyung slow down I need to write all of this in,” Changbin laughed and Minho smiled softly, “you’re sure Chan hyung only saw you two days ago?” the shortest boy spoke and Minho nodded, “how have you remembered so much stuff, I’ve never seen anyone like you.”

“Changbin hyung, how long have you been out?” Felix asked. 

“I’ve been out for two and a half months now,” the boy smiled in reply, “why? Haven’t you been out that long?” he countered.

“No, I’ve only been out for a month and a week,” Felix furrowed his brow.

“It happens like that sometimes Lix, some people take a lot longer to wake up,” Changbin explained and Minho didn’t like this idea.

“So that means my lover might not even have woken up yet?” Minho asked and Changbin shook his head.

“What happened with Lix and I is unusual,” the boy explained, “usually people are only let out a few days or at most a week apart, the speed at which you wake up depends on how good your memory is,” Changbin spoke. 

“You always had a bad memory,” Felix laughed at Changbin before realising what he’d said, “woah, how did I remember that?”

Changbin smiled with adoration down at the Australian, “you do keep remembering little things and then at some point you’ll remember so much that it’ll feel like this never happened, Chan hyung and Woojin hyung could remember pretty much everything.”

“Really?” Minho asked with hope in his eyes, “I thought you lost everything forever?” 

“No, of course not,” Changbin spoke, “the serum is only a suppressant, it’s impossible to wipe your entire memory forever without damaging your brain,” he explained, “but anyway is there anything else you need to add hyung?” 

“Chocolate cake,” Minho replied and Changbin laughed, “okay chocolate cake has been added.”

They waited for a few second in silence and Minho’s number of matches began to calculate and they all took a deep breath when it appeared. “110,” Changbin breathed in shock, “and you’ve been out for two weeks?” 

“That’s insane, I was on 1087 after my second week,” Felix laughed and Changbin grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

“That doesn’t matter now,” Minho heard his voice but it faded into the background.

There were 110 people on that database that matched with him and one of them was highly likely to be the boy he risked everything for. He had to find him, for himself, for his lover, for Felix, for Changbin, for Chan and for anyone who had risked anything for him. He had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i’m really enjoying writing this and it makes me happy knowing that there might be people who are enjoying it too!!


	8. For Felix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if he never found his lover and he forced Felix and Changbin to be trapped here forever?

Now that Felix has found Changbin, Minho found himself getting closer to Hyunjin, they surprisingly had a lot in common. Where Minho was negative and ridden with thoughts of what ifs and ideas that he might never find his lover again, Hyunjin was positive and the type of person to never give up, they bounced off each other. 

It was a Friday and they were exploring the city whilst sticking up some posters for the ‘Wiped Out Support Group’ which was really just a way to lure people into signing up for Unite. They were talking about their memories, Hyunjin spoke of how Chan had always told him that the younger’s were strange and seemed as if they related to two people rather than one. Minho was equally confused.

“He said that I was remembering twice the amount of information to everyone else,” Hyunjin spoke, “but not in the sense of twice the amount of different things,” the boy stopped for a second to help Minho stick a poster where he couldn’t quite reach, “I was remembering the same type of information just twice and different if that makes sense.”

“Oh yeah I understand, like I’ve remembered the 14th of September so you’ve remembered...” Minho trailed off.

“22nd of September and 8th February,” Hyunjin nodded and Minho smiled.

“That’s nice though don’t you think? Surely if you find even one of them if you then put both of your memories of the other person together you’ll find him really easily,” Minho said and Hyunjin’s eyes widened.

“I never thought about it like that before, you’re right hyung,” the younger boy grinned.

They met up with Felix and Changbin again when they headed back to Minho and Felix’s house, the two were cuddled up into each other and Minho’s heart melted at the sight. Seeing Felix so happy made him impossibly happy, the younger boy deserved it more than anyone else in the world. 

When the two soulmates lifted their heads to see Minho and Hyunjin walking through the door, Felix jumped up excitedly and motioned towards Changbin’s laptop, “Changbin hyung can get in contact with Chan hyung!”

Minho felt his eyes go wide as he turned his head to see that Hyunjin mirrored his reaction, “Isn’t that dangerous?” Hyunjin questioned with a furrowed brow.

“Not at all,” Changbin explained, “Unite’s computers are so heavily guarded it’s basically impossible to get into their system, we have our own networks so no one will find us you don’t need to worry about that,” Hyunjin nodded but still looked slightly unsure as he timidly took a seat next to Felix on the couch as they crowded around the bulky laptop.

Changbin clicked a few buttons before smiling, “he doesn’t know me and Lix found each other,” he giggled happily and Felix looked at him with such a gaze of pure adoration that Minho was almost taken aback. The pure love that was visible on the faces of both Felix and Changbin ever since they had found each other had given the older boy unlimited hope that having his memory wiped wouldn’t be the end of his relationship with whoever it may have been out there that he loved.

The boy’s thought process was cut off by a ringing tone echoing from Changbin’s laptop and it didn’t even take thirty seconds for a very excited looking Chan to accept Changbin’s video call request. “Changbinnie!” Chan exclaimed before seeing the other boys who were also sat around the laptop, “oh my god!! Hi!” he grinned brightly.

“Chan hyung! You’ll never guess what!” Felix practically yelled because of his excitement.  
“Yeah Lix?” Chan asked from behind the camera.

“I found him,” Felix spoke and Minho swore that his eyes were sparkling so brightly even the poor quality webcam picked up their shine.

“OH MY GOD!! LIX I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! WHAT’S HIS NAME?? TELL ME EVERYTHING,” Chan beamed excitedly and another boy Minho had never seen before popped up behind the camera.

“What’s happening?” The other boy asked as he leant on the back of Chan’s chair.

“Wooj! This is Felix I told you about! He’s found his lover!” Chan grinned and the boy, who Minho now realised was Woojin, clapped excitedly.

“Hi Felix, I’m Woojin and I’m so so happy for you!” He waved and all of the boys waved back.

“So Lix who is it?” Chan asked.

Felix smiled cutely before turning to face Changbin, “it’s Changbin hyung!” 

“WHAT?” Chan’s smile got impossibly wider, “I’m so so happy for both of you, oh my god, this is amazing, I’m so happy for you,” the boy laughed in excitement and glossy tears began to form in both Felix and Changbin’s eyes.

Changbin wrapped his arm around Felix and pulled him into his side so Felix was resting his head on his shoulder. Both Chan and Woojin cooed at the two boys and Woojin moved to rest his head on top of Chan’s whilst the eldest Australian changed the conversation, “Hyunjin, Minho how’s it going for you two?” he asked.

The two boy’s smiles faltered ever so slightly as Minho answered first, “still looking,” he spoke simply with a wistful smile and Chan just nodded in understanding.

“I know it’s hard Min but trust me, I’ve rarely seen anyone remember as much as you in such a short space of time, you’ll find your lover I’m sure,” he spoke comfortingly and Minho nodded with a weak smile.

“And you Hyunjin? Found either of them?” Chan asked.

Hyunjin simply shook his head, “no, still searching,” he hung his head a little and Minho squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

“Both of you don’t get disheartened, it took Channie and I half a year to find each other and look at us now,” Woojin told them both and the boys smiled.

“Thank you, I’m trying not too,” Minho spoke attempting to sound as positive as he could.

They talked for a while more after that, about everything and anything. Chan spoke of how great life was in Australia and how he was now looking for his family, Woojin told them that as soon as they found their lovers they could all live together in the big house the two had been given by Unite. “We have another couple living with us but they’re out at the moment or else we’d introduce you,” Chan spoke happily and Woojin nodded.

“I can’t wait hyung,” Felix grinned and Minho stared down at his ‘brother’ fondly. If only he could feel as happy as Felix must be right now, the boy seemed to be the dictionary definition of happiness and hope yet he was putting the rest of his life on hold for Minho. 

They said their good byes after talking for a little more than an hour and all seemed quiet after the life and positivity that Chan and a Woojin brought to the room was sucked out. Everything seemed much more real then. Prospects of never having what Chan and Woojin now hung in his mind and Minho just wanted to get rid of them more than ever, what if he never found his lover and he forced Felix and Changbin to be trapped here forever? He didn’t want his lack of happiness to be the reason for Felix and Changbin’s. 

Minho took in the sight of the two. Changbin had his arms wrapped around Felix’s waist and was softly blowing air into his ear making the younger giggle as he searched through their cupboards for food. They couldn’t wait for Minho forever, the older boy wouldn’t allow it.

“What’s on your mind hyung?” Hyunjin asked as he slid closer to Minho on the couch.

“Just general worries,” Minho brushed it off but Hyunjin was persistent.

“Tell me hyung, I won’t judge, I’m probably worrying about the same things.”

“I don’t wanna never find my lover and force Felix to stay here,” Minho breathed out and sympathy immediately flooded into Hyunjin’s face.

“I understand that, he says he’s waiting for me too but I can’t let him, I just keep looking at how happy they are together and I feel like I’m the one who’s keeping them away from freedom,” Hyunjin breathed out, “it breaks my heart.”

Minho nodded feeling less alone after Hyunjin had too shared his concerns, “but if you can’t get it out of your head just use it more positively, use it to make yourself try harder to find him whoever he is.”

For the first time since he’d got out, Minho was flooded with positivity and pure determination, “for Felix,” he breathed out and Hyunjin agreed.

“For Felix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this chapter!! i’m so glad that there are people reading this!! i’m not sure if i’ll be able to keep updating every single day but i’ll definitely try my best and at the very worst it will be once every other day!! again, i’m so happy people are reading this thank you so so so much!!


	9. Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s still a memory isn’t it? Not every one of them is happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up that this chapter has some mentions of some pretty bad homophobia, it’s only brief but please please if it might upset you take caution reading this!!

By the time Minho awoke, Felix was already in the kitchen baking cookies or whatever it was he did on Sunday morning’s. Changbin sat at the table scrolling through something on his laptop and the older boy smiled to himself because of how sweet and domestic the situation was. 

“Morning Changbin,” Minho greeted the boy who had so quickly become a permanent fixture in his life.

“Morning hyung,” Changbin replied as Minho sat on the chair across from him and they fell into a comfortable silence. However, despite the fact that Minho had only just woke up, his mind was already racing.

“Do you have time for me to ask you a few questions?” he asked Changbin almost pleadingly.

Upon hearing his tone, the younger closed his laptop and gave Minho his full attention, “yeah sure what do you need?”

Minho let loose on everything that had been bothering him since the second he stepped through the doors of the centre. “Why do they do this to us?” Was the first question to which Changbin appeared as if he had a perfectly calculated answer he’d given to many people before.

He looked as if he was about to speak before he stopped and sighed, “I’m not gonna give you the official answer hyung,” he spoke sadly and Minho nodded in understanding, “they want us gone,” Changbin said simply, “it’s been like this for years, before 1957 they’d just kill you if you were found to be gay, male or female, young or old, the youngest person they killed was a 9 year old girl who had come home from school and told her mom she had a girlfriend,” Minho winced at the thought of it but Changbin just continued, “then with the wave of the social justice movement, they decided that it was wrong to just kill people and better if they could rehabilitate instead, so for a few years they just tried therapy,” the younger laughed bitterly, “obviously that didn’t work so since 1960 they’ve just used this system, according to Unite’s stats they’ve wiped the memories of almost a million people since we started up in 1975.”

Minho almost felt his jaw hit the floor. “How many people have had their memory wiped more than once?” he questioned.

“I think the official stat is about 75,000,” the boy spoke and Minho was once again left in shock, “most people leave the country when they find their lover,” Changbin continued, “but some people have family members or friends that they can’t bear the thought of leaving behind and that’s how they get caught again, the success rate of us helping people on their second memory wipe is very very low, if you go in a second time, as soon as your memory is wiped you’re put into a system that they call ‘rehab therapy’ which basically is brainwashing into thinking being gay is the most disgusting thing ever and anyone who talks bad about the government is the enemy.” 

It fell silent when Changbin finished and Minho couldn’t quite comprehend the fact that the people who ran their country lacked empathy to that extent. “I- I can’t even think of how they do that,” he stuttered out his words and Changbin smiled sympathetically.

“It’s always hard when you find out but you have to remember that there’s so many people who want to support us but are way too afraid,” the younger attempted to reassure Minho but it did little to get rid of his fear that he would be the cause of Felix or even Changbin himself getting caught again.

Silence took over the room again for a few minutes when Changbin opened his laptop again and Minho took some time to take in what he had said. It felt almost impossible that a group of people could be hated so much that people would go to any possible extent to get rid of them. He felt powerless and he couldn’t believe the fact that the rest of the world couldn’t see that this was going on. Of course, he knew the country was very closed and it tricked the rest of the world into thinking that things were a lot better than they actually were but he hadn’t realised that it was this bad. The older boy thought of people like Felix and Chan who had come to the country simply to work or study and were unaware of the situation they had gotten themselves into whilst finding love here. Anger took him over immediately but nothing could quite overtake his feeling of powerlessness.

“Want some happy news?” Changbin asked him and Minho nodded quickly and furiously.

“Yes, anything positive please,” he let out a soft laugh as he calmed down a little.

“Your matches are down to 105,” the Unite worker told him and Minho felt his eyes go wide. 

“105?” he questioned, “that’s amazing!” he spoke with a pure look of glee on his face.

“Yeah, you’re so close now and your memories are coming in so so fast, I remember Chan hyung telling me over the phone how insanely well you were doing when he told me about you and Lix,” Changbin told him and Minho felt a sense of pride flooding over his body. He was doing well and getting close. 

At that moment, Felix entered the room and as soon as the two boys turned to face him and take in his appearance, all feelings of sadness and anger simply disappeared. There was a moment of silence which Changbin broke first by bursting into a fit of giggles, Minho quickly followed him and in just a few short seconds both boys had tears in their eyes and had fell to floor laughing in front of a very confused looking Felix.

“Wh-“ Changbin attempted to force words through his laughs, “what-“ he snorted and gave up causing Minho just to laugh even harder. 

Felix looked ridiculous which was unusual for the boy who was usually so clean and tidy whilst he was cooking. Obviously today was an exception. “What happened? What’s wrong?” the Australian asked with a smile.

“your eyebrows and hair,” Minho giggled and Felix ran to the closest mirror only to be greeted with the sight of himself with one blue eyebrow, one pink eyebrow and purple food colouring in the front of his blonde hair. He joined the boys in laughing at the sight as he began to scrub at his face.

“What am I gonna do?” he asked behind his chuckles, “what if it stains?” 

Changbin managed to move from his pile of giggles on the floor to take Felix upstairs and try to wash the dyes off his face leaving Minho alone in the lounge. 

It was only at this moment that Minho was reminded of how desperately lonely his life was. He had no one really, there was no one person who regarded him as their favourite. Of course, Felix was always there for him and was risking a lot to wait for him before they fled but even he had pushed Minho to the side lately because of Changbin. 

The door went at that moment and Minho walked towards it and opened it to see a very out of breath looking Hyunjin, “hyung, hyung, is Changbin hyung here?” Hyunjin said in a clear panic and Minho began panicking too. 

“Yeah he is, why Jinnie what’s wrong?” the older boy asked and Hyunjin’s expression instantly changed.

“Nothing’s wrong I just remembered a name,” he grinned.

“A name?” Minho asked in shock and the younger nodded.

“Changbin!” the older called up the stairs, “Hyunjin’s here he has a name!” 

There was a crash upstairs and a yell of, “my hair is still purple!” before Changbin appeared at the top of the staircase and ran down at almost super sonic speed.

“Hyunjin! I’m so happy for you! Let’s type it into your database and see what happens,” Changbin spoke as he opened up his laptop.

Whilst it was powering up, Felix arrived in the lounge wearing a white bobble hat that Minho could only assume belonged to their ‘mother’. He tried to hold in his giggles as he saw the remnants of the food colouring still in his brothers eyebrows. 

“What name did you remember?” Changbin asked Hyunjin causing Minho to turn his gaze from his brothers coloured eyebrows to the second youngest. 

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin spoke and the oldest noted the way the boy’s eyes glistened when the name escaped from behind his lips. He had said the name as if it was a delicate rose that he had been tasked with keeping safe and he would lay down his life for it. Minho supposed that if this was the name of his lover, or even one of his lovers, Hyunjin already had laid his life down for him.

Changbin clicked a few buttons before smiling up at Hyunjin, “8,” he told the boy who grinned instantly. 

“I’m so close!” Hyunjin threw his arms in the air in celebration. Minho, although feeling happy for his friend, couldn’t escape the feeling that he was lagging behind. It was inevitable that he was going to be left behind after all, his parents had left him behind. He gasped at the realisation. 

“My parents didn’t want me,” he whispered softly in an attempt to make only himself hear it. This was Hyunjin’s moment, he was so happy, Minho couldn’t just ruin that with turmoil that should barely matter to him anymore.

“What?” Felix who was stood next to him turned to face his brother with a look of concern. The older boy cursed himself for not being quieter but Felix spoke again, “hyung what do you mean?” There was no way out.

“They pushed me away when I told them I was gay,” Minho let the words leave his lips with all of the sadness from his heart poured into them. 

“Oh hyung,” the Australian pulled his brother in for a hug and Minho felt his heart clench in his chest and it all felt so unfair.

“Why do I have to feel all of this again,” he sobbed out, “who are they to make me remember this again, why should they make me have to go through this again?” 

His words hit the now tense atmosphere in the room as the three other boys crowded around him. Hyunjin passed him a tissue and Minho grabbed it before offering the younger a watery smile, “I’m sorry for ruining your moment.”

“That’s okay,” Hyunjin reassured him as he squeezed his hand.

“Hyung, do you want that on your profile or not?” Changbin asked softly after a few moments. 

Minho nodded slowly, “it’s still a memory isn’t it? Not every one of them is happy,” he breathed deeply and Changbin typed away before announcing Minho’s new number of matches.

“100.”

He was still behind, too far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh thank you so so much for reading this chapter!! although i’m not that satisfied with how it turned out i think it’s an important part of the story so i hope you enjoyed it!!! :)))


	10. Just a Concept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope was beautiful but what was hope? Minho defined it simply as a wrongfully interpreted mixture of two evils: inevitability and the lack of being able to let something go.

If Unite had about 100,000 success stories, then they had 900,000 failures. Minho was sadly reminded of this fact when he and Felix accompanied Changbin to their headquarters in the centre of the city.

“This is Mr Park,” Changbin pointed to a man who was sat in the next room, “he was the best friend of one of Unite’s co-founders but the co-founder got caught and his memory was wiped again, Mr Park hasn’t seen him since, he had his memory wiped around 54 years ago towards the end of 1965,” the boy spoke, “he doesn’t even know whether his lover is dead or alive but he refuses to move on, he works part time as a doctor who does the memory wiping, he tells people to the best of his ability how to make sure it doesn’t work.”

As soon as he looked over at the man, Minho couldn’t shake the feeling that he’s seen him before, words of ‘love him truly and find him again’ flooded into his mind but the boy pushed them away and dismissed them as his mind playing tricks on him. When he thought about the older man’s situation, there was undeniably something beautiful in the fact that Mr Park hadn’t loved since, Minho supposed, because no matter how lonely it may have seemed to an outsider, Mr Park appeared to get enough company from knowing there was someone out there who loved him. The old man appeared to sense someone staring at him and he looked nul through the window of his office and offered the three boys a small smile.

“His hope is beautiful,” Minho spoke under his breath and Felix hummed in agreement.

They walked a few more underground corridors before reaching Changbin’s office. It was small and had his name written haphazardly on the door, it had obviously previously belonged to Chan as the first four letters of Changbin’s name were written in a different colour to the last. When they stepped through the door Minho’s eyes searched around the small room and it was definitely nothing like he had expected. There weren’t papers strewn everywhere or any photos on the walls, in fact the entire room was devoid of any paper at all except for the small sticky note that had miscellaneous codes written onto it. Instead, the walls were covered with wires and various screens just as the second floor of their local headquarters was, the office was brightly lit by various computers and touch screen whiteboards dotted around the walls.

“Not what you expected?” Changbin questioned and Minho shook his head without speaking a word, “if someone breaks in and the entire records are on paper it makes all of the people on the database vulnerable and easy to find, if they’re online then we can just shut down the system,” he explained and Felix spoke up next.

“It’s so cool,” he breathed, “I feel like I’ve walked into a sci-fi movie,” the Australian giggled.

“I thought you might like it,” Changbin ruffled Felix’s hair as he sat down at his desk, “sorry we had to stop off here by the way, I’ve just gotta check someone off because they left the country.”

“Ah did they find their person?” Minho questioned.

“No, it was the poor kid who accidentally told the doctors about Chan hyung and Woojin hyung,” Changbin smiled fondly, “no matter how bad the thing he did was I just can’t bring myself to hate him, he lives with them now and he found his lover in Australia anyway, he’d already moved into the Unite safe house over there because he was at risk.”

“Oh well I guess it kinda worked out well for him,” Felix joked causing Changbin to laugh and agree.

After about another minute, the Unite worker closed his laptop and stood up, “okay I’m done, can we please go for ice cream now?” he asked, “I have to present a whole support session for the first time tomorrow and it’s kinda stressing me out so I need to eat away my feelings.”

Minho laughed at this, “I’m sure you’re great at presenting.”

“You haven’t seen me present, you don’t understand.”

They walked in comfortable silence to the ice cream shop after that. It upset the oldest slightly that Felix and Changbin had to leave an obvious gap between themselves, it seemed so unfair that they should be in danger because of something that makes them happy. Nevertheless, Felix decided to slide into the side of the booth next to Minho instead of his lover when they reached the shop. They ordered and ate and left and headed home, Minho hated how monotonous and boring his life was.

Another five months of this lay ahead, he had almost considered signing up to become a worker at Unite but he wasn’t sure that he was mentally stable enough for such a role. There was very little he did that could make him happy. Sure he danced a little in his room or in the lounge when Felix was out or in the shower and although it felt so natural and as if it was something he was doing his whole life, it did little to quell his feeling of being out of place and wrong.

Minho sat in his room whilst Felix and Changbin laughed and yelled from downstairs. It was unfair to them to constantly have him lurking around, they deserved privacy and no matter how bored and empty Minho felt when he was alone, he couldn’t deny the younger two this. Instead, he simply plugged his earphones into an old mp3 player his ‘mom’ had given him.

He sat through what felt like hundreds of unfamiliar songs and not one made him feel anything or seemed to have any significance, it made him feel helpless and resigned to the fact that he would end up like Mr Park. Of course, the old man’s hope was beautiful but what was hope? Minho defined it simply as a wrongfully interpreted mixture of two evils: inevitability and the lack of being able to let something go. He couldn’t bear the thought of having to live out the rest of his years watching everyone around him move on and be happy whilst he ended up alone and still searching. 

If only he could just remember, if only his thoughts would just come to him like they had so freely when he first left the centre. It had been days since he had remembered anything that could even be seen as vaguely substantial and it simply wasn’t good enough, neither for Minho or for him to find his lover.

That was what hurt him the most. The idea that his lover could still be in the centre blissfully unaware of why he was there or that someone was out there looking for him hurt, the idea that his lover could’ve been found again and had his memory wiped again hurt, the idea that his lover might be out in the world but lonely and searching for Minho hurt. Everything just hurt. 

Minho couldn’t even cry anymore. He cried so often that every tear felt like it had left his body and there was nothing left. Instead emptiness was left behind with a hollow heart that couldn’t even be filled with thoughts of his lover because Minho didn’t even know who the boy was, he couldn’t even fantasise about spending time with the boy because he was nothing but a concept to Minho. He was nothing but thoughts of what could’ve been and what may be and Minho needed something real, he needed something to hold on to. He needed his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading this chapter!! i really enjoyed writing this one even though it was kind sad!! the climax is steadily approaching and there’ll be about 2,3 or maybe 4 more chapters so i really hope you’ll enjoy reading those!! thank you :)))


	11. Get Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy yelped but Minho couldn’t think about him right now. All he knew was that they had to run and escape.

It was soon Friday, the day of the Unite support session and Changbin’s first group presentation. To say he that he was nervous, Minho thought, would be to say that Beyoncé was a mediocre vocalist, it just didn’t work. Felix was trying everything he could to get the boy to calm down but it seemed to be no use, Changbin was stuttering over pretty much every word that escaped his mouth.

“Why don’t you practice with me?” Minho suggested and Changbin nodded before pulling out his laptop and setting it on the coffee table.

“Right okay,” the younger mumbled quietly as he took a deep breath. “Okay hello, I’m Changbin for those of you who are new here I’m the leader of your local branch of Unite,” he introduced himself before looking to Minho for reassurance who simply offered him a thumbs up prompting the worker to continue, “so today I wanted to try a memory reaching tactic called consuming, with this we assume that everyone has been in water at some point during their lives, our research suggests that submerging your forearms and the bottoms of your legs in water could bring back some water based memories,” he spoke perfectly.

“That was great Bin!” Minho spoke enthusiastically, “it was just like watching Chan hyung!”

Changbin smiled at this but still looked extremely nervous even when he closed the lid of his laptop. Taking the decision to leave his comfort to the boy who knew him best, Minho headed to sit on the sofa and observe them from afar.

“Hey Hyung, look at me,” Felix had rested his hands on either side of Changbin’s face as he spoke, “if you really need me to I’ll do it with you?” 

It fell quiet as Changbin seemed to ponder over the idea for a moment before nodding with a smile, “I’ll see how it goes when I get there and you can help me if I need it, thanks Lix, I love you.”

Felix giggled as his lover pressed a light kiss to the tip of his nose and then they joined their lips together just as the doorbell went.

Minho ran to get it so that he wouldn’t interrupt the boy’s cute moment and he pulled the door open to face Hyunjin. “Jinnie! Hi!” he smiled and moved to the side so the younger boy could walk in.

“Hi hyung!” Hyunjin made himself comfortable on the sofa and Minho sat next to him as they both attempted to ignore the fact that Changbin and Felix were making out almost right next to them.

“So,” Minho spoke awkwardly after what seemed like a few minutes (but could only have been about 5 seconds) causing Hyunjin to burst out laughing. After chuckling together and quietly heckling the two lovers for at least 2 minutes, Hyunjin and Minho could finally breathe as Changbin and Felix broke apart. 

“We should probably get going,” Changbin simply smiled as if nothing had just happened.

Minho let out another loud laugh as he stared in disbelief at the shorter boy, “yeah I think we should.”

The Unite worker had to stop off at the city HQ to pick up a few things before he could present properly but instead of taking the whole group with him, he sent the three other boys ahead to unlock the local HQ and set up his laptop. It was odd seeing the rooms so quiet and lonely. When Minho had first arrived there, there were so many people milling around, it seemed as if all of the life had been sucked out of the entire headquarters.

He noticed no real physical differences in the rooms other than the fact that a polaroid of Chan and Woojin was stuck to the wall of success stories. They deserved their happiness, Minho thought as he stared at the picture of the smiling boys for a few seconds. 

A click sounded throughout the building as Felix unlocked the flap that led them into the meeting room and the two other boys followed him down the stairs. The lights turned on and Minho made himself comfortable as he could on the rather uncomfortable plastic chairs. 

It was at the last session where Minho had first realised how lucky he was to have Felix as his ‘brother’. Rather than being thrown alone straight into the deep end, Felix was already a member of Unite with links to the very top and he had good friends that Minho could now happily call his own. The older boy couldn’t even imagine how his life would’ve been at this point had he not had Felix, it seemed insane that his brother had made it a month alone.

Around 20 minutes later, people began arriving. Minho recognised a few people from the last meeting like a younger girl called Ryujin and an older boy called Yugyeom. They greeted each other kindly before sitting down and waiting for Changbin to arrive. 

The session didn’t begin for a while so Felix began playing some soft music to pass the time and naturally a few conversations started up between the people who were slowly making their way into the room. Minho, although wanting to make new friends, found himself glued to Hyunjin. The boy was almost certain that he wasn’t like this before he had his memory wiped but now he found socialising almost impossible. There was something so utterly terrifying about not knowing who you could trust.

Minho’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the shrill ringing of a siren and Felix’s panicked scream echoing through the air. The lively atmosphere in the room was shattered and everyone was screaming. Fear was crawling around the room from person to person but none of them could move, none of them knew what was happening so couldn’t think of their next move. Hyunjin took the initiative and grabbed Changbin’s laptop from Felix before clicking a few buttons and shouting, “IT’S FROM CHANGBIN! WE HAVE TO GO NOW WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY THE POLICE HAVE CAUGHT ON WE’RE ALL IN DANGER!” he yelled and the room fell into chaos.

Everything was simultaneously spinning and in going in slow motion for Minho. His sight was blurry and the sirens in his ears had merged into one continuous ring, “hyung, hyung,” Minho was settled slightly by Hyunjin’s surprisingly calm voice, “Changbin hyung is bringing a van he’s collected some of our things from our houses but we’ve got to go hyung we’ve got to go.”

Minho couldn’t move. His whole mind felt like it was in turmoil, here he was and he had to leave, the police knew his name, they knew that he was with Unite and if he’d stayed he’d have to get his memory wiped again but he hadn’t found him. He’d failed. He’d never find his lover. Realisation sent him into dizzying shock and he barely reacted as Hyunjin grabbed his hand and all but pulled him up the stairs. Minho’s body was in autopilot, his legs were moving but his upper bodying couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Tears blocked his vision as he followed a blur that he assumed was the others, he was running further towards failure and a sad fate.

As they ran, Felix and Hyunjin began grabbing the hands of those who were carrying Unite leaflets and walking towards the centre. They were first-timers, Minho supposed, and he couldn’t even begin to think of how terrifying and soul destroying the situation must have been for them.

In their panic Felix and Hyunjin ran past a petrified looking boy who was clutching one of the leaflets and looking more lost than anyone Minho had ever seen. The eldest caught up to them quickly and grabbed the hand of the boy, “Jisungie we have to go now,” he spoke and the boy yelped but Minho couldn’t think about him right now. All he knew was that they had to run and escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i really hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i enjoyed writing this a lot so i hope i got that across!!! thank you so so so much for reading this!!


	12. Jisung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither of them even knew how to handle the situation, they seemed to have forgotten how to deal with pure euphoria.

It was only another 30 seconds before the van appeared and they clambered into the back. Hyunjin quickly ran to lock the doors and Changbin started driving away from the HQ. Minho felt a slight pull on his sleeve and he suddenly remembered that he’d pulled a boy with him to the van. “Hyung, Minho hyung,” he heard a soft voice come from next to him.

Whipping his head around, Minho stared at the boy in shock. Wide brown eyes looked back at him and they glistened excitedly, the older boy lay his hand on the younger’s shoulder simply to make sure he was real before he spoke, “Jisung?”

“It’s me hyung and you’re here too, we found each other,” Jisung grinned and his words seemed to ignite a fire in Minho’s chest as he lurched forward and embraced the boy into a tight hug. Tears began leaking down Minho’s cheeks as he took in the feeling of Jisung’s arms wrapped around his body again and the sounds of the younger boys soft cries, they pulled away from the hug and simply stared at each other for a minute in disbelief. Neither of them even knew how to handle the situation, they seemed to have forgotten how to deal with pure euphoria.

“I love you so much,” Jisung said from behind his sobs and to Minho, hearing the words was like feeling rain touch your skin after a drought or jumping in the ocean on a warm day. For the first time he remembered, he felt alive.

“I love you so much too, I’ve been looking for you everywhere you have no idea how much I’ve missed you I-“ the older boy found it hard to breathe as Jisung lay a soft kiss on his cheek and pulled him in for another hug. The van jolted as Changbin stopped at a red light and it sent Minho flying onto his lover but they simply laughed as Jisung groaned in pain, everything felt so right and normal again, Minho no longer felt alone and lost. He’d regained the most important thing in his life and thus regained his happiness.

“Uh hyung?” Minho heard a deep and shocked voice coming from his other side and he turned to face Felix. It wasn’t surprising that the boy looked confused but Minho could tell from his soft smile that he realised what had just happened, he and Hyunjin were staring at the two found lovers with pride and Minho beamed back at them.

“Oh, Sung this is Felix my new brother and this is Hyunjin my friend,” the eldest spoke, “Felix, Hyunjin this is Jisung my...” Minho trailed off and turned to face Jisung who simply rolled his eyes.

“We never broke up hyung, I’m still your boyfriend,” Jisung giggled and Minho laughed with him.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Minho finished happily and the two other boys laughed along with them.

“Well it’s very very nice to meet you,” Felix said, “I would introduce you to my boyfriend but he’s driving,” the younger laughed.

“It’s nice to meet you too! I’d introduce you to my boyfriends but I don’t know who they are,” Hyunjin laughed and Jisung wasted no time wondering whether he should just laugh along before he broke into a fit of giggles, not that Hyunjin minded.

“Minho hyung, you know you remembered the word squirrel?” Felix asked him and Minho nodded, “he does look like one don't you think?” 

Minho didn’t even need to check before he nodded and laughed at the thought that his memory of Jisung looking like a squirrel was so strong that it broke through the barrier created by the serum. He wondered what Jisung had remembered.

“Hey Sung, how long have you been out?” Minho asked the boy who was now cuddled up to his side.

“A week,” Jisung answered and Minho’s eyes went wide.

“Only a week?” 

“Yeah, that’s why I was going to the support group, I wanted to make some new friends,” Jisung explained, “I’d met someone when I was collecting my allowance and she told me the truth about why we’d had our memories wiped, she suggested I went to the group to meet some new people.”

“Well the group is actually an underground organisation called Unite,” Felix told him, “everything you’ve remembered you write down and then they put it into a database and it matches you with people who could be your lover.”

Jisung looked shocked by this, “that’s such a good idea!” he said excitedly, “did you sign up hyung?” 

“Of course I did!” Minho told him.

“What did you remember about me hyung?” Jisung asked, “do you know how old I am or my birthday?” he asked curiously, “I think I know your birthday.”

“I’m pretty sure yours is 14th September 2000,” Minho told him and the younger grinned.

“You’re a day older than me!” Felix said excitedly.

“Hey, you never told me we didn’t celebrate your birthday,” Minho turned to the youngest.

“Changbin hyung only told me like 4 days after we met,” Felix replied defensively causing Minho to just smile.

“Yours is October 25th hyung,” Jisung said, “it’s soon, we can celebrate!” he grinned, “wait, I forgot to ask you where are we going and what’s happening?”

“Oh,” Minho spoke and during the whole commotion he had forgotten why he had found Jisung again and the situation in which it had happened.

“The police caught on to the group, everyone who had their memory wiped in the area would’ve been taken in for evaluation and ultimately a re-do of their memory wipe,” Felix explained sadly and Jisung looked horrified.

“Where are we going?” The oldest asked Felix.

“Australia,” the youngest grinned and Minho could see the excitement in his eyes, “I can’t remember it at all but I know it’s beautiful,” he spoke almost wistfully.

The van stopped then and they all headed out into the airport, it wasn’t the commercial airport that Minho had been expecting, instead it was a Unite owned private airfield. “Why didn’t I know about this before?” Felix asked Changbin when they met again out of the van.

“We have to keep it as the most closely guarded secret, if this place goes then we’re stuck,” Changbin told him and Jisung squeezed Minho’s hand tightly in fear. It must’ve been terrifying for his boyfriend, Minho thought, he’d only learnt two days ago the real reason of why his memory had been stolen and now he’d found his lover again and was being chased from his home country by the police yet still he had a smile on his face, Minho couldn’t help but admire his strength and willingness to fight. 

“Uh... who’s this?” Changbin asked whilst grinning in Minho’s direction.

“Oh! Jisung this is Changbin, Changbin this is Jisung my boyfriend,” Jisung waved shyly and Changbin’s eyes lit up in happiness.

“Hyung! I’m so happy for you!” Changbin pulled the two boys in for a short group hug and whispered in Minho’s ear, “I’m glad you found him before you had to leave,” he smiled softly and then looked towards Hyunjin who was staring at the group with a weird sense of sad pride in his eyes.

Minho couldn’t even bear to put himself in Hyunjin’s position. He moved away from Jisung for a second and walked over to the younger boy, “hey Jinnie are you okay?” he wrapped an arm around him as he spoke. 

Hyunjin gave him a weak smile and he hung his head slightly and sniffed, “yeah I’m okay,” his voice broke towards the end of his sentence and a few tears trickled down his face.

“You’ll find them Hyunjin, I’m certain of it, the doctor told me if you love truly then you’ll find them again and look at you now yeah? You’re crying so much because you love them so truly,” Minho spoke and pulled Hyunjin in for a short hug.

The older was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder and Minho turned around to face Jisung, every time Minho saw his lover’s face it was another shock to the system and the younger boy smiled bashfully as he spoke, “the plane’s here, we’ve got to go,” he shot a sympathetic smile at Hyunjin.

“Come on Jinnie, you never know what waits for us in Australia.” Minho linked arms with his friend and his boyfriend as they took the steps towards the plane, towards freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading this chapter!! i’m sorry for the late update i was out :((( i really hope you enjoyed this chapter and i’m so excited for the final chapter tomorrow!!


	13. Home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home was wherever Jisung was so by default, Minho was already home.

Australia was just as Felix had said he’d imagined it to be. Even though Minho was almost certain he’d never left his home country, he could safely say he’d never seen anywhere as beautiful as the grounds of the Unite safe house were. There was thousands of safe houses dotted around the globe, Chan had explained when they had arrived there ten minutes ago, this one was bought specifically with Chan in mind. 

“Is it like you remembered it?” Minho had heard Chan ask Felix softly as they embraced when the group first stepped through the door.

“I couldn’t remember it,” Felix spoke in wonder, “but it’s beautiful.”

Felix was correct. Calling the house beautiful could even be seen as an insult, compared to the grey and dingy apartments that lined the streets back home, Minho could easily say that it was the most picturesque place he had ever seen. Just the outside was perfect, the back garden was giant with a pool and a table and chairs. Inside was extravagant, on the ceiling in the hall hung a huge chandelier that sparkled under the light cast by the skylight over the other side of the room. The lounge was huge with luxurious looking sofa’s and Minho swore that freedom had never felt or looked so good despite the fact that he hadn’t had much experience with the concept of freedom.

They settled down a bit and Minho finally got his chance to speak to Chan, Jisung was all but attached to his side as the younger boy tried to adjust to the amount of changes that were happening in such a short space of time. He looked exhausted and Minho couldn’t blame him but the boy still had a smile on his face as they sat down next to Chan.

“So Minho who’s this?” Chan smiled mischievously and Minho beamed back at him.

“This is Jisung, my boyfriend,” Minho grinned with pride as Jisung offers Chan a small wave.

“Ah, it’s very very nice to meet you Jisung, how did this all come about?” the Australian asked curiously and Minho only then realised how ridiculous their story was. He turned to Jisung who leant his head on his shoulder and Minho launched in to the story.

“We were running away from the HQ and it was a session where we’d put flyers around the neighbourhood, as Jinnie and Lix were running they were pulling people along who had the flyers in their hands and they missed someone so I grabbed his hand and pulled him,” Minho spoke before he was interrupted by Jisung.

“What Minho hyung didn’t realise was that when he was running he called me Jisungie, you can imagine how confused I was but I remembered him in that moment so I just followed, he only realised when we got into the van,” Jisung chuckled.

“Really?” Chan laughed at Minho who looked as baffled as he felt.

“I did that?” he asked Jisung who simply broke into fits of laughter at him before the doorbell rang. In confusion, everyone turned around to face Chan but the boy simply grinned with an excited look on his face as he ran to open the door.

“Ah I have two people to introduce you all too! They’ve been living with us!” Chan called.

The room fell silent as they awaited the arrival of the two mysterious boys that Chan was talking about. As soon as they entered into the room, Minho heard a choking noise from where Hyunjin was stood by Felix. 

“Minnie? Innie?” Hyunjin’s voice cracked and the two other boys stared at him as if they couldn’t believe he was real and like there was no one else in the room. Tension spread around the room and was thick but not uncomfortable, it simply felt like shock.

“Oh my God Hyunjin?” Seungmin spoke quietly, “Hyunjin,” he repeated again before he dropped the hand of Jeongin who was still frozen in his place and ran towards the taller boy.

They both squealed as Seungmin crashed into Hyunjin and they wrapped their arms tightly around each other for a brief second before sharing a chaste kiss as their tears that fell down their cheeks mingled. Instantly turning around, they noticed that Jeongin was crouched on the floor sobbing. Panicking, Hyunjin ran over to him and put his arm around the boy, “Innie, Innie are you okay?” 

Seungmin joined them as Jeongin whispered to Hyunjin that he couldn’t deal with that much joy. Chan coughed slightly then and motioned for the rest of the boys to join him outside which they did willingly to give the three others some privacy.

When they reached the garden, the three couples sat around a round table and basked in the warm comfort of the Australian sunlight as they drank in the freedom that they finally had. Minho pulled Jisung on to his lap when the other two couples began a conversation and he lay a soft kiss on the side of Jisung’s neck making the boy squirm because of how ticklish it was. 

“What are we gonna do with our freedom Sungie?” Minho asked his boyfriend and Jisung turned slightly to face him.

“We can make new memories and go on cute dates, you can finally get some cats, I can try and find my family and remake the songs I’ve forgotten about, the possibilities are endless hyung,” the boy spoke with a grin on his face.

“And I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”

The nine boys spent the night together then. They swam in the pool and had water fights, Chan ordered them chicken, Hyunjin spent the entire night getting thousands of cuddles from his boyfriends who had been terrified they’d never see him again, Chan, Changbin and Jisung bonded over the fact that they all wanted to make music and at the end of the night Minho got to cuddle Jisung until they both fell asleep.

“I love you so much Sung,” Minho had whispered into the youngest’s ear and before placing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“I love you even more hyung.” Jisung nuzzled into his boyfriend’s neck.

“I’m glad I found you,” Minho whispered.

“You’ll never ever lose me again, we’ve got our whole lives to spend together now,” the youngest breathed into the night air and Minho liked the sound of that. 

The idea of spending his entire life with Jisung made him feel like he’d just found a pot of gold yet he was certain that no gold would ever shine as bright as the light did in Jisung’s eyes. It was a light that Minho would never let be diminished again.

When Minho finally fell asleep with the love of his life snuggled tightly into his arms he dreamt of the future. He dreamt of a life with Jisung just as the younger had described to him in the garden earlier that day, it was full of love and unlimited amounts of hope. Jisung would find his family and introduce them to his new family, they’d live here in Australia and hope that one day they could return home to a country that would accept them but even if nothing ever changed it wouldn’t matter. Home wasn’t a country or a building or a town, home was where you felt comfortable and safe.

Home was wherever Jisung was so by default, Minho was already home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so so so much for reading this story!! it means so much that anyone would read and enjoy this so thank you so much!! i’m kind of sad that it’s come to an end but i’m also happy i could give the happy ending that the characters deserved and hopefully the ending lived up to any expectations!! again, thank you so so so much for reading this!!!! - mae

**Author's Note:**

> Ah I hope you enjoyed reading this! Please let me know your thoughts or theories or anything here or on my twitter @happyhanjisung !!


End file.
